Let it snow!

No offense, but the snow is still falling in DC and New York, and I'm already sick of the whining. We got about -- or I should say "at least" -- a foot of snow yesterday and it wasn't mentioned at all that I heard. Maybe on local channels. But in Chicago, we're supposed to be "used to it."

Here's a tip:  You don't get used to it. You just learn how to drive in it. Keep your wheels straight whenever possible. Go really slow on curves, because that's when you skid. When you skid, take your foot off the accelerator, straighten out the wheels to try to get some control, even if you're heading right for a line of parked cars, and don't brake -- that only makes it worse. Just maybe tap very lightly on the brakes.

Of course, this does take practice, because when you go into a really good skid -- like when there's a solid slab of ice under the snow, not just fish-tailing at red lights -- your first reaction is total panic. Oh, and if it's really cold, when the street looks really pretty and shiny like a French painting, it's probably black ice. You'll skid on that, too. And I do mean skid...like a hockey puck.

Was out yesterday twice shoveling the driveway. It's easier to shovel four or five inches at a time rather than a whole foot. Kept snowing until about midnight, the winds came up, and you can hardly tell anyone did anything at all. But it is winter, after all. And the county, as usual, has plowed in the end of my driveway. That's bad, heavy crap, too, all slop and ice chunks.

Saw news footage of DC. Not quite as bad as the winter of '79 in Chicago. Now that was a blizzard! Just about like '67. And totally debilitating. It started around Christmas with some massive snowfalls, as usual. The thing is, the snow usually melts a bit between storms. In 1979, nothing melted. It stayed below freezing (often below zero) for weeks at a time. Every new snowfall added another layer. Then at the end of January came the big one -- about 27" over a couple days of non-stop precipitation.

You could tell where the streets were by looking for the radio antennas of parked cars sticking up through the snow. I lived on the North Side of Chicago. Four-lane arteries were down to one lane. The side streets were like meadows, the car antennas as road markers. The intersections were a nightmare with only one lane open on the streets. You couldn't walk anywhere, either. Certainly not in the street.

The elevated CTA trains weren't running. Then they got them running. Then a building next to the Wilson Avenue station -- which includes a big round-house type of thing for repairs and whatever -- caught fire, and the fire fighters were shooting water over the tracks. Next day, the whole station looked like a cavern with stalactites hanging down to the street. Afteward, no trains ran north of Wilson Avenue until the Spring thaw.

My neighbor's garage collapsed under the weight of the snow on the roof. It sounded like an earthquake. He backed his car out from under the rubble and left it at the end of the driveway. A tow truck pulled a car down the street a few days later. The car under tow, dangling from the tow pulley like a hooked fish, skidded out of the four-inch deep tire tracks frozen like grooves in the ice on the street, and smashed the rear end of my neighbor's car all to hell. That same neighbor also suffered a heart attack while shoveling snow. Not a good year for him. And he was a really nice guy.

In March, the day before the mayoral election, help arrived in the neighborhood. The city brought tow trucks to pull out cars that had been buried under the snow for more than a month (mine included). They had a huge thing -- probably a road grader -- imported from Minnesota to plow the street.

It was like a block party. Everyone offering the truck drivers beers and/or hot coffee, making sure the tow trucks didn't rip out your axle or tear off your bumper. The precinct captain's wife was out there, telling us, "I bet everyone thinks the only reason they're plowing is because the election is tomorrow."

Oh gosh, who would even suspect such a thing?

Bilandic lost like crazy.

Supposedly the city had paid a contractor -- friend-of-a-friend, of course -- several million dollars to develop a Snow Plan. With the blizzards and all, some poor soul at City Hall dug out the Snow Plan and, tingling with anticipation, opened it up in hopes of finding a method for fixing the city and getting it moving again. The Snow Plan was a single page that read:  "Remove the snow."

That's the way they do things in Chicago. Like one hotshot alderman devised his own Snow Plan. "Tow all the cars to the high school athletic field" he said, then get the plows in there to clear the streets. The only trouble is, the high school athletic field was about four acres of nothin' but snow.

On TV, a few astute reporters are noting, "There's no place to put the snow when they plow it." Right. Brilliant. They must all be from southern California. Hey, try the Mall. Miles of big empty fields. When we were kids, we used to play on the mountains of snow piled up by the plows. Loads of fun. It's only when you grow up that snow becomes a problem.

So now DC is getting a real taste of Chicago. I suppose they'll figure out a way to blame George Bush.

My mom grew up in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. In '79 when we complained about the blizzard, she'd just look at us disgusted and say, "Oh for Pete's sake. We used to get this every year before Christmas."

We've got pictures to prove it, too. Thanksgiving Day and a couple of my cousins, as three and four-year-olds, standing in a shoveled sidewalk that kinda looks like a steep, shallow ravine, walls of snow around them.... Kinda like my driveway right now.

So, off I go, shovel in hand. I can use the exercise. Plenty of work to do to fend off cabin fever.