YOU are the driver

So the Comrade started out with this nifty little metaphor about George W driving "the car" into a ditch and asking if you want to give the keys back to the Republicans. Then he suggested that all Republicans can just sit "in the back," in a rather unfortunate reference to racial prejudice in the South. Yup. That's exactly it -- trying to make everyone but his merry marxists second-class citizens. Glad he finally admitted that. "Some are more equal than others," Comrade?

Let me tell you about how I learned to drive a car. I took lessons, and scared the instructor to within an inch of his life on a Chicago side street when I squeezed between a double-parked delivery truck and cars parked on the other side of the street doing about 40 mph. Hey, I didn't hit anything. Didn't even sideswipe. No problem, why the panic?

Anyway, so all the lessons were in a car with an automatic transmission, and the instructor even had his own brake pedal on the passenger's side. However, when it came to actually buying a car, about the best I could do was a VW Bug with a stick shift. I bought it from a guy I worked with for about $400, and it was in pretty good condition. He showed me the basics about stick shifts and took a spin with me around a shopping mall parking lot in the middle of the night. Then the car sat in front of my house for about a month while I tried to work up the courage to actually try driving it on my own.

The guy I bought it from suggested I drive it around early Sunday mornings when there wouldn't be too much traffic. Only in Chicago, early Sunday mornings, the streets are littered with the twisted wrecks and pools of human blood left behind by the Saturday night drunks. Not encouraging. Anyway, one of my brothers volunteered to ride along with me for a while until I felt comfortable with it.

That was interesting. Don't know if he did it on purpose, but he drove us out to a fairly rural area (well, it was then) northwest of Chicago and the 'burbs, and we drove around through forest preserves. Low speed limit, not a lot of traffic, pretty easy roads. I did OK there, so my brother insisted that I drive us home -- through some ravines and all. Sort of hilly country, which, granted, is pretty damn rare around Chicago.

Don't know if you know anything stick shifts, but when you're stopped, your feet are on the brake and the clutch, and as you start moving again, you shift, then give it a little gas and lighten up on the clutch until first gear engages. But to do that, you've got to take your foot off the brake.

And in a stick shift, if you're stopped at the top of a really steep hill and don't have your foot on the brake, you tend to roll backwards down the hill.

So here we are at a stop sign on top of a hill. I take my foot off the brake and we start rolling backwards down the hill. So I slam on the brake again -- other foot on the clutch -- and we just sit there for a minute. I'm panicking -- OH MY GOD! WHAT HAVE I DONE! My brother's just very calm, looking out the window.

Finally he looked at me and said, "The car's not going to do anything until you do. You're the driver."

Needless to say, I figured it out. I've also owned a couple other stick shifts since then, and even taught a couple other people how to drive them. It isn't hard, it's just a matter of confidence, mainly. Honestly, about the worst thing you can do is stall.

So tomorrow is Election Day. I've been waiting for this day for TWO YEARS!

The country's not going to go anywhere or do anything until we at least vote. We're the drivers, no matter what kind of drivel the Comrade is trying to sell you. The worst thing we can do is stall.

Your vote does count. You might say, "People who vote against my guy will cancel out my vote." But look at it this way -- you're canceling out their vote, too!! Your one little measly vote is serving a large and important purpose. Feel better now??

Need a ride to the polling place? I've got an automatic now. I've even driven through mountains. I can get you there, but you've got to pull the lever, or punch the card, or make the check mark, or whatever. But you've got to do it. Nothing good's going to happen until you do.

Save the Republic. We're the only people who can.