Wanna help me plan my vacation? I just got a brand new electric car from Government Motors and I'm dying to try it out on my trip to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. It has a range of a whopping 40 miles before it needs recharging. (Bring your own cables?)
Day 1: Drive to the northern suburbs of Chicago. Re-charge car battery for 12 -14 hours. Might as well stay overnight.
Day 2: Drive through the city to the southern suburbs. Re-charge car battery for 12 - 14 hours. Might as well stay overnight.
Day 3. Drive to Gary, Indiana. Re-charge car battery for 12 -14 hours. Might as well stay overnight.
Day 4: Drive toward South Bend, Indiana (won't quite make it; it's 58 miles.) Re-charge car battery. Might as well stay overnight.
Day 5: Drive to Elkhart, Indiana. Re-charge car battery for 12 - 14 hours. Might as well stay overnight.
Uh-oh. Only five days of vacation left. Guess I better turn around and go back home if I plan to get back to work on time. But, gee, I got a great look at the I-80 Interstate and almost made it through Indiana.
H-m-m-m, so what are my other options? I could fly to Harrisburg, Penna., I guess, rent a car and... but gosh, what kind of a carbon footprint would that leave? Greenpeace is reeling.
I could buy a gas-powered car and, if I leave my house at about 4:00 am, before rush hour, I'd make Ohio before lunch and Somerset, Penna., in time for supper. I might even be able to stop and see the memorial to the "Let's Roll" 9/11 plane that crashed at Shanksville. Then reach Gettysburg morning of Day 2. And in a gas-powered car, I could actually drive around the battlefield without stopping to re-charge the battery.
OR -- and this is a big one -- with the $41,000 I paid for the new GM, I could have bought two pretty comfortable gas-powered cars and maybe bring a whole bunch of friends. And wouldn't be using up all that coal-powered electricity and spending all my vacation money on hotel rooms and battery re-charging.
H-m-m-m-m must be figuring something wrong here. The Comrade wouldn't want me to squander all that energy on any sort of vacation, would he? I mean, since he's put a moratorium on domestic drilling and all....
But I'm glad to see him flying his and Pazzo Pelosi's families all over the continent for their good times and convenience and entirely at public expense. I mean, they work so hard, don't they? Dreaming up an endless series of 2,000-page bills to hamstring all of us "little people."
You'd think we'd have all learned something from those useless and wasteful five-year plans Stalin and Krushchev and all those folks dumped on the Russians for half a century, wouldn't you? But, no. Central planning and socialism are so much more efficient than free market capitalism. Like impractical and expensive cars that no one could possibly afford to operate. Roller skates will take you just as far and without the 12-hour layover to re-charge the batteries.
I do hope the Comrade and the merry marxists take long, long, long, long vacations of their own. And have my fingers crossed that the electorate will assure it.
Save the republic.
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