To hell with the country being bullied into socialism, a national debt that will destroy us all, Iran getting cozy with the tangle of marxist dictators in Central/South America, and the fact that our president is deliberately trying to destroy the nation. Let's just put all that aside, because we all know that the #1 issue is....
Whoopee Goldberg and Joy Behar walked out on Bill O'Reilly during his recent appearance on "The View."
I can't remember when I've been so sick and tired of hearing about something so trivial. I'd call it a tempest in a tea pot, except that a tempest in a tea pot might be kind of intriguing. Lilliputian, you know?
I've never watched "The View." I don't really care what a bunch of liberal women think about, and I can't stand Joy Behar's voice -- sorta like nails on a blackboard. And I don't think Joy Behar is funny so much as she is catty and snarky, and not very subtle or creative about it, either. I do like Whoopee Goldberg, but I'm not overly concerned about what her politics are. After all, she's not running for office.
Bill O'Reilly refuses to let it rest, and now Whoopee Goldberg is making the rounds of Fox shows elaborating on why she walked off the show. Does it really matter?
I mean, really, who cares? Slow news day or what?
The last time I even tuned in to "The View" was out of simple curiosity shortly after the show was launched. All they talked about then was losing weight. I've had enough of that from Oprah. Then we were supposed to be all excited about Rosie O'Donnell getting in fights with people. She's just a bully. I was rather glad to get out of public school just to get away from the bullies of one kind and another.
Barbara Walters is OK. I used to watch her celebrity interviews before the Academy Awards shows, but lately I'm also sick of looking at people with extensive plastic surgery. It looks painful. Peoples' mouths stretched from ear-to-ear, a constant look of surprise around their eyes, sort of floppy-looking injected lips that don't fit with the rest the face, and skin that looks, frankly, like the "plastic wrap" effect I get from my graphics software program. Cosmetic plastic surgery really doesn't do a whole lot to improve the human face, though apparently it gives some people an ego boost.
I'm just tired of it all. It's tough being a woman. You're supposed to be concerned about peoples' health -- I'm not. You're supposed to want to interfere with everyone's love life -- I don't. You're supposed to be manic about ugly shoes -- my very favorites are moccasins because that's about as close to barefoot as you can get and still step on broken glass and bottle caps without injury. And you're supposed to get all dewy-eyed and on the edge of your seat when the subject of "spirituality" comes up. I'm not quite sure what spirituality is, though I am a fan of "Ghost Hunters."
Of course, there is a larger question: Does anyone watch the networks anymore? Apparently there was some big thing on a couple weeks ago about Islam, with some guy in a turban -- or maybe it was one of those bizarre clamshell-looking hats -- who took off his shoe and banged it on the table and promised to bury us. Or no, that was Kruschchev at the U.N. 50 years ago. Oh well. All power-mad lunatics begin to look alike after a while, and I've been around for a while. At any rate, supposedly Christiane Amanpour shut the guy off really quick as he was threatening to give Islam a bad name. Gee, imagine that.
I used to do this killer imitation of Christiane Amanpour, all because I didn't know her name. To me, she was that woman on TV who was always talking about "The children. We've got to do something about the children." This was in regard to some war or another in the Middle East, and the children starving or something. I think she's actually too bossy to be a good reporter. Too controlling. Journalists are not supposed to actually BE the story, unless they get taken hostage or beheaded or something. That goes for Bill O'Reilly, too.
And I get such a kick out of celebrity news. Never heard of the "celebrities" they talk about. Can't figure out what Paris Hilton ever did except have sex with a guy on the Internet and stand around like a piece of furniture talking into a cell phone. I think she looks like a turtle, if you've ever looked at a turtle square in the face. I understand that Justin Bieber is Canadian and has nice hair. Don't know another thing about him. I'm just saying, with such scintillating "celebrities," why would anyone bother to keep track?
And as far as "The View" goes, apart from Barbara Walters and Whoopee Goldberg, who are these people on that show? Have they ever done anything but lose weight and/or buy shoes?
Anyone remember the movie Fahrenheit 451? The old one with Julie Christie and that German guy whose name I don't recall playing the lead as the Fireman. Julie Christie is the guy's wife, and she's all wrapped up in this big-screen TV and her "cousins" on some show very much like "The View." And everyone takes Soma -- I read the book. Soma is a tranquilizer that deadens people to anything but physical sensuality and general pablumesque cheeriness. They had to get rid of the books; the books were causing trouble. Sound familiar?
Don't want to give too much of the plot away, but 451 is the temperature at which paper burns. So maybe we should blame this epidemic mediocrity on the Internet and the lack of books?
You know, Ray Bradbury was born near where I live. He was the keynote speaker at a business conference I attended, and he was pretty good. Very thought-provoking. And if you don't know why I mention Ray Bradbury right here, you should probably go back to watching the Cousins on "The View" and making sure you've got enough Soma to make it through the day.
Save the Republic.Read a book. An e-book will do.
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