The Loo at the White House

This may end up being a rather international blog.

Start with a guy name Richard or Robert Loo, who replaced Bill Daley at the White House. He was on "Fox Sunday" with Chris Wallace this morning. Anyone know what a "loo" is in England? Same as a "W.C.," which stands for "water closet," perhaps the ultimate Victorian euphemism for "toilet."

So, anyway, Mr. Loo now is speaking on behalf of the Comrade. How appropriate.

Chris Wallace asked him where the "right" to birth control pills comes from, since it's not mentioned anywhere in the Constitution. No doubt a careless oversight on Madison's part. They were all men anyway, right?

Mr. Loo said this "right" comes from the socialized medicine bill.

We've covered this before. No government can invent a human right. Rights come from the Creator, not from the Comrade, Marx, Lenin, or any of his other heroes. So that's a stupid and useless comment, isn't it? Figures it comes from the White House Loo. It's probably written on the wall there, along with the phone numbers for a few congressional whores, like Nelson or Landrieu.

(In fact, not even the government has "rights." No, the government has "powers." Granted to it by citizens with "rights." Get it?)

So then Chris Wallace asked Mr. Loo, since under the Comrade's silly fix, his back-step in trying to claim authority over the Catholic God, the Catholic church will not have to be dispensing birth control and "morning after" pills to its employees. But it's insurance carrier is compelled to.

Isn't this just cost-shifting? Wallace asked. That is to say, won't the Catholic church still be paying for the pills through its insurance premiums?

Mr. Loo says no, because birth control pills are free.

(OK, about this time I'm rolling on the floor laughing, with coffee shooting out my nose. This is like an interview with Foster Brooks, remember, the comic who acted drunk all the time?)

No, really, Mr. Loo insists, if you figure in the cost of birth control pills into the cost of women's overall health care, they don't cost anything.

At this point, even Chris Wallace had coffee shooting out his nose, though the camera panned away from him, no doubt to preseve some of Mr. Loo's floundering dignity.

So in addition to the English "loo" thing, here's the other international part:

I was in Italy many moons ago. At the time, Italy had hyper inflation. The money was so worthless, when you bought something small, like a newspaper, they wouldn't give you change in lire. They'd give you a piece of candy, which was actually worth more and, let's face it, tasted better.

So here's a solution the Comrade might consider, since birth control pills really are "free." Get the drug stores to dispense them. Like, if you go to a drug store for, say, a bottle of fish oil tablets, and you give the clerk, say, a $10.00 bill, with maybe $1.50 change due back... Why not just have the drug store give you your change in birth control pills? Since they're "free," the drug stores won't be losing any money, right? And neither the Catholic church nor the insurance companies will have to deal with the issue at all.

This even works for men. If they buy condoms or viagra or something, they can get their change in birth control pills that they can pass along to their partners. Knda like the way junkies swap food stamps around. See how well that all works? Even for the black market. Everyone wins! And no one has to take any responsibility for anything.

And boy, those birth control farmers sure better step up production. I think demand is going to go through the roof. We may not be able to find enough of them growing "free" in the wild anymore. And put up big nets, so next time it rains birth control pills, we won't lose too many.

Save the Republic.